Speechless

There's a fine line between “I want people to know the truth” and “It’s none of their business”. 

I've realized that although both perspectives are true, I had to identify what I want more, which is for you to have access to the information - for you to know the truth. 

I am not going to try to fit everything into this one blog but my hope is that if you continue to follow my journey, you receive value and get to know me better along the way! In honor of me celebrating me, here’s some of my truths: 

The truth is that there’s no way I’ll ever be able to tell the whole story - my life story. Not in a book, not in a documentary, not in an interview, not in this blog. It’s unrealistic and not in my best interest to relive and repeat everything that’s happened but I am capable and willing to share highlights. 

I am able to share some of the good and bad moments that molded me into who I am today. I have wanted to share my story for as long as I can remember but the truth is…I’ve been speechless.

I never know how to share the stories. I struggle to find a way to articulate how blessed I am while being transparent about how much I’ve suffered. When I’m good, I’m so fragile and depleted from being bad, that I guard the goodness and stay silent. It’s been challenging for me to figure out a balance between my blessings and burdens. 

I want people to get to know me. To understand who I am - what I’ve been through. What I’ve overcome. I know that I am anointed / gifted and able to create significant change in this world but the truth is I’ve allowed myself to become overwhelmed with that responsibility.

The truth is I’ve put myself in debilitating situations. The truth is that my life has been abundant and fruitful but at times I’ve had a hard time recognizing it. The truth is It’s easy for me to say “you deserve abundance” but hard for me to really feel that way about myself. The truth is, the more success I achieved, the more unworthy I felt.

The truth is I am a perfectionist and hold myself to extremely unrealistic high standards. I obsess over details and hold myself back because of it. The truth is I have a lot of flaws and know I’m not perfect. The truth is despite my imperfections, I know I’ve accomplished more in my short life than a lot of people do in 10 lifetimes.

I am aware of how blessed I am.

I know how much success i’ve had.

I’ve seen how good God is!!

I know the struggles I've been through and lessons I’ve learned are for a reason and are all a part of my process. 

The truth is I’ve normalized the trauma and toxicity. Ive normalized my pain and suffering. I am so used to being talked down to, disrespected, manipulated and taken advantage of that I've accepted that behavior on a regular basis throughout my life. 

The truth is, in this season, I know my value. I know my worth. The price is going to continue to go up. I'm not tolerating disrespect and toxic behavior. I am deserving of good relationships, partnerships and good people!

The truth is you are too! 

I’ve spent so much of this past decade feeling like I needed to explain myself, my mistakes, misunderstandings and my shortcomings but the truth is, I don't. The truth is I don't owe the public an explanation or summary of what’s been going on, but I want to - I genuinely want to. The truth is, I know my experiences - good and bad, will prevent people from making the same mistakes I have and will expose people to abundance and success.

Impact For The Culture is a business that I created in 2020 and sharing this blog with you is a big milestone for me. I’ve been doing impact based work for a long time but am ready to release myself of the habit of being speechless. I have way too much to say to stay silent. Its no longer benefiting me to keep everything to myself and definitely not benefiting the community.

Thankful for you and your support!

If you continue to read our blog and you enjoy it, please leave feedback! If you have a topic you want me to write about please submit your request! I look forward to building this community!